Can Love Succeed Beyond Distance?
When introducing your long-distance partner to your friends and family, you’ll often get two reactions, they’re either excited for you and anxious to meet them, or they approach you with concern for your well-being. Both of these are not completely unreasonable, but it begs the question.
Can love succeed beyond distance?
When it comes to long-distance relationships, I am far from inexperienced. Most of my relationships ended up being long-distance, even if it didn’t start that way. I’ve had many experiences and learned many things, there were many cons to being long-distance, but also many pros to balance it out. The key factor in these relationships that determined its outcome relied on one thing.
Intention and Application.
Most people will tell you that long distance is impossible, unrealistic even, and for a time I agreed with the idea that there was no way a long-distance relationship could ever survive. That was until I saw my sister and her partner end up long distance. They had been dating for 4 years and when she learned he had to move states due to his career, she stayed back to pursue her passions to become a doctor and get into med school. The path wasn’t easy but they made it work because they loved each other so profoundly, it only made sense to make every effort possible to keep the flame of their relationship alive.
As I watched them navigate their journey through a long-distance relationship I made sure to take mental notes of my own in case the time called for me to use these notes myself. Here’s what I managed to gather from what I’ve seen, and also experienced myself.
Maintain Independence
It’s okay to want to be all over your partner and spend as much time with them as possible, but when it comes to long-distance it’s a lot more complicated to find ways to spend time together when you’re not always able to call or text. You can find yourself quickly feeling empty and lonely. Remember you were a person before them. Continue to pursue your passions and desires as though you were alone, and allow them to do the same. Your partner is supposed to embellish your life not drain it.
Be Clear About Your Intentions, and Make Sure to Have the Same Goal
When you’re dating someone it’s crucial to discuss your intentions and goals. Some people date to marry, others date to experience life and love. No matter what you desire it’s important to discuss your intentions as soon as possible to avoid anyone getting hurt. Being on the same page about this is not something one should compromise on.
Discuss Communication Needs
It’s important to have effective communication in long-distance relationships this skill allows partners to talk online and understand each other’s perspective. Always use clear self-expression and active listening. Don’t expect perfection, but set a standard.
Use Various Forms of Communication
Some people prefer texts, others phone calls, be sure to find a good balance that works for both of you.
Trust Each Other
This by far, is one of the most important things in any relationship, but especially long distance. Sometimes the person you find yourself paired up with might be a stranger, trusting they are being sincere with you will only set you up for success. But, if you find yourself not trusting them for whatever reason, maybe avoid distance and date locally. Long distance requires a lot of trust. It can be scary, but if the person is sincere, it can be equally beautiful.
Spend Time Together Whenever Possible
Make plans to see each other often, if you’re fortunate enough to have a long weekend use it to see them. Make plans to go on trips together, love always finds a way.
Make Each Other a Part of Family and Friend Gatherings
If you’re taking this person seriously, find ways to integrate their presence in family and friend gatherings. Maybe call them during the gathering to let everyone say hello, and bring them to family events if possible.
Plan Dates Together
If you like gaming, have your partner get on a call and play a game with you. If you love movies, facetime one another and enjoy the same movie together. Find activities you can do together from far away.
Be Open to Discussing Your Feelings
Long-distance relationships require a lot of communication, suppressing feelings is not only unhealthy, but it can destroy the relationship. Make sure to discuss your feelings even if they are unpleasant at times.
Don’t be Afraid of Conflict
This one’s important. When you’re in a fresh relationship, you’re on a honeymoon high full of light and positive energy. The last thing you want to do is bring the good mood down because your partner upset you in some way. Don’t be afraid to talk to them about what bothers you, don’t be afraid to disagree with them and discuss the issue. You might find yourselves improving your relationship because of it.
Be Involved in Each Other’s Lives
Who knows if this person will be around forever? No matter the outcome, involve them in your life. Introduce them to family and friends, show them around your hometown, and vice versa. Take this partner seriously, and build intimacy with them. Integrate yourselves into each other’s worlds.
Long-distance relationships are not for the faint of heart, putting yourself in a very vulnerable position takes a lot of courage. However, if you are sincere with your intentions you are already setting yourself up for success. Enjoy the journey, Love is meant to be a pleasant experience (well most of the time).
xoxo
Sarita
